The courageous Transgender Story of Transitioning from female to male
Transition from female to male and what it took to walk into his authentic self. You will have another tool for your toolbox!
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This is an education! We both know Logan!
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Transitioning through your gender. It is a realization of who you really are.
The most noticeable time it became clear was in middle school. I was different from other people. I was 10 or 11 years old. I had no word for it. Logan was bullied for being trans but he didn’t notice. People thought he was trans the other way. They thought I was male and transitioning to female and it was the opposite.
Gender and sexuality are different.
There was an abundance of confusion.
Logan is 20 now. Does anyone know who they are in middle school? There is a lot of uncertainty. You may know that your favorite color is blue.
Gender and sexuality are not the same. And Gender and sex. You are born as a male. your sex is what genitalia is. Your gender is how you identify. It is a social construct. Humans like organization. We use gender as a category of how to group people. It forces people to be in a category they don’t want to be in. Boys and girls division. Cis gender is that you identify with the gender you were born with. The others are trans gender.
It took Logan a long time to go to the boys bathroom. He didn’t pass. Dysphoria. When you feel a disconnect with your assigned gender at birth. Dysmorphia. When you feel disconnected with your body. Your body makes you uncomfortable. People will cover things up. It is about their gender. It is hard to change. Socially. It took a few years before someone to call him Logan. It is a source of dysphoria for trans people.
He told his Mom and he went into freshman year with his dead name (female). He wasn’t allowed to be himself. It was so painful. He felt fake. He couldn’t be himself. He first told his history teacher. He was afraid to tell his parents. Some people have issues with religion.
The teacher gave him courage. It gave him a foot hold.
Are there resources for trans gender? Planned Parenthood offers hormone therapy. There are groups. His group was called Teen Alliance. They talked about transition problems. He first had to go to a therapist in order to get hormone therapy and receive testosterone.
His Mom was accepting of this transition. He told her first. He knew his Dad would be weird about it. It was all him. He needed her to not freak out. He educated her. It is hard to describe things to people who don’t experience it. He had to be resourceful. He figured it out all on his own. He wanted a binder. A 3 times compressed sports bra. It is as painful as it sounds. He didn’t want to see a feminine body. She bought one and began supporting it. A year later, they decided to tell the Dad. Logan, told his Dad at a sushi restaurant. He basically didn’t accept it. Logan dropped it. A few months passed. Logan if you are using this name at school you need to tell your Dad again. People at school were calling him Logan. Logan had a friend who educated himself so he could still be a good friend. I told my Dad again about my name. I need you to respect that. The Dad said I am never going to call you that. Later he apologized and wanted to support Logan because he loved him. He turned around. Not all people can change. Logan is an only child. It proposed a myriad of issues of expectations. Logan didn’t like his dead name. It was hurtful and seemed like a disrespect. It felt like punishment. Your child will still be your child despite their gender.
There are more transgender than ever. People are able to come out now. Finally, they are able to live in a world where existing won’t get you killed.
We want to talk about the skills. Don’t ever ask your child….are you positive your just not a lesbian? You need to listen to your child. You need to view them as a person, not someone who doesn’t know what they are talking about. This is Logan’s slogan he lives by.
“You don’t have to understand, you just have to be understanding.”
Parent expectations cannot rule your child’s life. You need to let that all go and honor the child’s wants and desires. It is the same thing about the child’s genders.
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Were you fantasizing about gender stereotypes? Logan wore masculine clothes and wanted no figure. Hey now I can carry on the family name! Logan can pass as male. He has a beard and a deeper voice. He can wear clothes that he wants to wear. He loves color and pattern. He now has freedom. He was dysphoric.
After his Dad was on board, they sent out an email to friends and family. Dena and Colleen were both on the email thread! It wasn’t as smooth sailing because there were some rifts and people that wanted no part of Logan and were not accepting. Logan feels they were just uneducated and afraid of change. They retaliated with fear and anger. These are the crosses we bear. What advice do you have for someone who is going through this rejection?
It is hard. It is only their job to love you. Understanding can break the cycle of mistrust.
How do you transition physically? It depends on how much. Logan could get a double mastectomy and he takes testosterone. Top and bottom surgery are expensive. FTM $10k female to male top price. There is a drug called blockers that stops the hormone that you normally produce. You take these first. The drug progression is slow so it isn’t drastic. There are risks involved. It can cause blood clots. Logan wants to have top surgery.
Gender and sexuality are not the same. Logan is bisexual. When he was younger he thought he was a lesbian. Some were butch. I like boys as a boy. Your sexuality is tied to your gender but doesn’t define it. Trans women worry about this. They feel an obligation to like men. If they are not a real woman, than why would a woman like them? It is the same for people that are gay. The norm. Thanks Logan!
Where do I go to understand? It is hard to start. This is a starting point! It is a difficult time! People should be able to live how they are!