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Logan Hope

The courageous Transgender Story of Transitioning from female to male

logan.hope.snyder@gmail.com

Transition from female to male and what it took to walk into his authentic self. You will have another tool for your toolbox!

We want to hear from you. cg.db@isoulify.com!

This is an education! We both know Logan!

Share with us the message about the bigger picture.

Transitioning through your gender. It is a realization of who you really are.

The most noticeable time it became clear was in middle school. I was different from other people. I was 10 or 11 years old. I had no word for it. Logan was bullied for being trans but he didn’t notice. People thought he was trans the other way. They thought I was male and transitioning to female and it was the opposite.

Gender and sexuality are different.

There was an abundance of confusion.

Logan is 20 now. Does anyone know who they are in middle school? There is a lot of uncertainty. You may know that your favorite color is blue.

Gender and sexuality are not the same. And Gender and sex. You are born as a male. your sex is what genitalia is. Your gender is how you identify. It is a social construct. Humans like organization. We use gender as a category of how to group people. It forces people to be in a category they don’t want to be in. Boys and girls division. Cis gender is that you identify with the gender you were born with. The others are trans gender.

It took Logan a long time to go to the boys bathroom. He didn’t pass. Dysphoria. When you feel a disconnect with your assigned gender at birth. Dysmorphia. When you feel disconnected with your body. Your body makes you uncomfortable. People will cover things up. It is about their gender. It is hard to change. Socially. It took a few years before someone to call him Logan. It is a source of dysphoria for trans people.

He told his Mom and he went into freshman year with his dead name (female). He wasn’t allowed to be himself. It was so painful. He felt fake. He couldn’t be himself. He first told his history teacher. He was afraid to tell his parents. Some people have issues with religion.

The teacher gave him courage. It gave him a foot hold.

Are there resources for trans gender? Planned Parenthood offers hormone therapy. There are groups. His group was called Teen Alliance. They talked about transition problems. He first had to go to a therapist in order to get hormone therapy and receive testosterone.

His Mom was accepting of this transition. He told her first. He knew his Dad would be weird about it. It was all him. He needed her to not freak out. He educated her. It is hard to describe things to people who don’t experience it. He had to be resourceful. He figured it out all on his own. He wanted a binder. A 3 times compressed sports bra. It is as painful as it sounds. He didn’t want to see a feminine body. She bought one and began supporting it. A year later, they decided to tell the Dad. Logan, told his Dad at a sushi restaurant. He basically didn’t accept it. Logan dropped it. A few months passed. Logan if you are using this name at school you need to tell your Dad again. People at school were calling him Logan. Logan had a friend who educated himself so he could still be a good friend. I told my Dad again about my name. I need you to respect that. The Dad said I am never going to call you that. Later he apologized and wanted to support Logan because he loved him. He turned around. Not all people can change. Logan is an only child. It proposed a myriad of issues of expectations. Logan didn’t like his dead name. It was hurtful and seemed like a disrespect. It felt like punishment. Your child will still be your child despite their gender.

There are more transgender than ever. People are able to come out now. Finally, they are able to live in a world where existing won’t get you killed.

We want to talk about the skills. Don’t ever ask your child….are you positive your just not a lesbian? You need to listen to your child. You need to view them as a person, not someone who doesn’t know what they are talking about. This is Logan’s slogan he lives by.

“You don’t have to understand, you just have to be understanding.”

Parent expectations cannot rule your child’s life. You need to let that all go and honor the child’s wants and desires. It is the same thing about the child’s genders.

Insert Energy Bits Ad.

Were you fantasizing about gender stereotypes? Logan wore masculine clothes and wanted no figure. Hey now I can carry on the family name! Logan can pass as male. He has a beard and a deeper voice. He can wear clothes that he wants to wear. He loves color and pattern. He now has freedom. He was dysphoric.

After his Dad was on board, they sent out an email to friends and family. Dena and Colleen were both on the email thread! It wasn’t as smooth sailing because there were some rifts and people that wanted no part of Logan and were not accepting. Logan feels they were just uneducated and afraid of change. They retaliated with fear and anger. These are the crosses we bear. What advice do you have for someone who is going through this rejection?

It is hard. It is only their job to love you. Understanding can break the cycle of mistrust.

How do you transition physically? It depends on how much. Logan could get a double mastectomy and he takes testosterone. Top and bottom surgery are expensive. FTM $10k female to male top price. There is a drug called blockers that stops the hormone that you normally produce. You take these first. The drug progression is slow so it isn’t drastic. There are risks involved. It can cause blood clots. Logan wants to have top surgery.

Gender and sexuality are not the same. Logan is bisexual. When he was younger he thought he was a lesbian. Some were butch. I like boys as a boy. Your sexuality is tied to your gender but doesn’t define it. Trans women worry about this. They feel an obligation to like men. If they are not a real woman, than why would a woman like them? It is the same for people that are gay. The norm. Thanks Logan!

Where do I go to understand? It is hard to start. This is a starting point! It is a difficult time! People should be able to live how they are!

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Inez’s Healing Arts

We met Inez in a coffee shop. She overheard us and encouraged us. A total stranger reaching out! She has an amazing energy and spirit. We didn’t feel she was intrusive. Two years later we called Inez to do the sound healing for our mural ribbon cutting.

Where does her heart lie in the healing community. What do you do in the space of healing and how did you get there.

The sounds healing is special and how the vibrations can heal your soul.

SIIS-Sound Music and Healing School in San Francisco. All the different cultures are represented. She got laid off of work and she was excited about this opportunity and how it would make her heart sing.

She had been doing energy healing. Intuitive medicine. ayurvedic medicine training. bodywork. chronic healing. pulses. Meso American. A mix of mexican and aztec. Michoacan, Mexico. Her grandfather was a medicine man. She is still searching for her ancestral background. It has been a challenge to be colonized and a woman of color. She grew up in a white community. She has many cultures mixed within her. She fits in many places. It speaks to her work. We are all one. All cultures revolve around nature and plants. Saturate yourself in nature to get healed. Go to the ocean. Go to the forest. What do you do when you get there? Stop and listen. Connect and be with it. Take off your shoes. Close your eyes. Use all your senses. Listen and smell. You will hear a lot! The sky and sun will shine on your and you will feel the energy and let it flow over you. They are given to us and are gifts. Everything we need is here and if free! By spirit the creator. We don’t have to have money or talent or charm. Noticing and listening and receiving and accepting.. These are vibrations. This is what meditation is about. Connecting with your inner spirit. You can be at peace and this is when you can really receive. If our mind is cluttered, we don’t connect with our inner spirit, energy source, light…then we are running without a battery.

What does the vibration do for someone? It changes their vibration. Your energy will go into a calmer state. Your nervous system relaxes. Your body calms itself. The body knows how to calm.

Speaking of the breath. She would like to introduce humming. Hearing your own voice is a vibration. A healing vibration. It is your own. It sounds like a bee. Plug your ears when you do it. It is your own sound for healing. You are breathing and using your core. Bringing it up. Is it similar to OMMMMMM? yes! That is the sound the earth made when it was born. It is a form of humming. Our ancestors knew so much. You can go into a sound journey. It is like lucid dreaming. You go into a trance. If you have a consistent sound, the brain resonates with that sound and it takes you deep within your own psyche so you can connect with your ancestors and your inner thoughts. The drumming can bring you to previous lives. Dena talks about a dream about a past life.

Dreams and subconscious have a lot of meaning. Some of it is symbolic and it could be our ancestors lives. Old karmic things coming up. We are all one. There are a lot of things we don’t pay attention to. It is an opportunity to explore.

When you are in a different space you tap into your sub conscience. It means different things to different people. It can mean tapping into a past life for some.

If someone struggles with anxiety and it affects health, how do you do this with sound healing?

Most clients come to Inez after they have exhausted all western medicine. They are ill and doctors say they are fine. She makes people go to a doctor if they haven’t. She deals with emotions. There is a place for modern medicine. She brings the indigenous medicine in with western medicine. She does use tuning forks. Tuning to a certain megahertz. drums. rattles. saging.

Sometimes Inez needs to touch people. It is a spot that needed to be healed. She is drawn. She has had pain disappear once she touches people. It really isn’t her. She is tapping into a source. She cannot let her ego get in the way. She is very generous with her energy. It is challenging as a healer. She wants to stay in tune with spirit.

When you said it really wasn’t you, what were you speaking about? Were you channeling? yes, it was spirit. If she listens and gets out of the way, it happens naturally. Her first prayer is to get out of the way. Pay attention, listen, allow. It is a partnership. We are connecting with our guides and we are honoring it and asking for assistance of whatever needs to be done at that time.

Inez gives an example. If someone comes with a stomach ache. She will do some healing touch. The work is intuitive. They may need to go into a journey. It may be in the sound vibration. They have something deeper they want to find. Do they tell you things when they come out of a trance. Hypnotherapy is similar. She verbalizes back and forth. First question is where are you? Who are you? There are different images that come out in their session. Inez shares things that she might see. She goes in with them. I will see something and ask them what it means? She can feel healers all around the table. The people that are the most open to healing get past the fear.

How has Inez translated her gifts into her own life? I get healed with every person that I am working with. We can share the same kind of traumas. She has to face her traumas again. It is an exchange.

As a child, she would lay in the tree and put her ear to the tree trunk and she could hear water flowing. That was her first vibration of healing. Tree hugging is a real thing!

Colleen talks about getting grounded. How does light play into your therapy. Natural light is something she uses. Moving energy. Chi Gong. Reaching to the sunlight and the clouds. That opens up all the acupressure points. I call it Father sky. Reach up towards the sky. You will feel the tingling. The energy comes into your fingertips. Pour it into the crown of your head. Let the energy flow in their. Love from above. They say we are from the stars. Protect yourself. Your underarms are heart points. By putting your arms up, you are opening yourself up to spirit. You see this in all kinds of cultures!!!!!!!! It is an honoring. Honoring the earth. And then your hands are down….connect from mother earth and scoop up the power from below….roots, mountains, water. Bring it up to our heart. Gratitude for all that we have. Take the hands and give gratitude back to mother earth. That is all we have to do is be a part of that.

When times get tough and stressed and we don’t know what to do, you can help yourself. The Dalai Lama said we are born with such informality. We live between life and death with such formality. We just need to be. It is so simple and beautiful. We complicate things so much. We just need to hold each other and support each other through struggles. People show up. We are all loving beings.

Where are you now with the work you are doing with cancer patients. Her Mom and brother had cancer so she learned how to deal with it and in addition she lost two friends.

She started helping at the Cancer Support Group. The women’s resource center in Berkeley. She loves what she does there.

Are you attracted to a certain part of their body? Yes. The energy goes right through them. They can feel it breaking up the cancer. Sound healing is really good for Alzheimer’s. It is at a high vibration. Brain entrainment is something that happens when two people are feeling the same vibration.

It is their work, not mine. Visualization is part of the healing. We will moving energy out of cells. People can see cells leave. He could feel the gunk leaving. They have to do the work. Inez is just a guide and a steward to ones own well being. If they are not trusting and believing nothign is going to happen. Faith is a huge componenent.

www.inezhealingarts.com is where you can find a list of workshops. She also does private sessions. She is beginning to do video calls so iSoulify guests can work with Inez.

Parting words. There is a lot of beautiful energy all around us. Trust yourself, your knowing and your intuition. You will connect more! We translate everything we feel onto the people around us.

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Guest: Lisa Margulies, Investment Advisor and Transformational Coach

She had a near death experience.  It started with a cesarean breech birth of her daughter.  The energy changed in the room.  She was not stitched up properly.  She contracted adult chicken pox.  She hermoraged out.  The transition was so fast.  She left her body and it happened so fast.  It was paisley and colorful and there were beings there and they were so colorful.  They asked her if she wanted color or not and she said to take away the color. They looked like white Q-tips.  She could feel the love and the quiet.  She can relate it to skiing when everything is while and quiet.  She knew in an instant she was home.  She was in a natural state. She was experiencing love and peace.  It was easy to be there.  They were helping her transition.  There was no chair.  Sitting was a memory.  The clarity of why I was in this third dimension became clear.  She had a bad upbringing.  So to get to this place and realize the experience was so precious.  It was the first time she valued her life.  She has been struggling to find herself.  They gave me the first of five choices.  Do you want to go back?  Yes.  She missed something.  She became aware of the priceless difficulties that she had had.  

They put four maps in front of her.  They were like topographical maps. The third one was a show stopper.  She didn’t know what to think.  She grew up in a Judeo christian upbringing.  Yes, this family is asking for a volunteer.  She knew it would be the end.  There was no judgement.  I was taking it all in.  Who would volunteer to do something like that?  She was molested by her grandfather.  Her Mom was disturbed. They were all clutching to survive.  I had so much anger and confusion.  The entire life story was playing.  At the end she realized that she chose her parents.  There is a reason and lessons to be going on here.  The illusion of this expression is a ginormous lesson in forgiveness.  

When I looked at my victim story.  I had created it.  I was changed.  In that moment.  When I arrived, I am who I am without my body.  She knew who she authentically was. What is she bringing back?  It is the second chance that we all give ourselves.  What part do we keep in our victim story about something bad happening.  What does 100% responsibility look like?

The fourth path was filled with amazing lights.  She fell in love.  She couldn’t speak.  There were little beings running around the room and the lights were twinkling.  They were all solid.  It was negotiations.  The lights were all agreements.  The story was about being in bed for five years.  She was sick and had no immune system.  She was on medications.  She was ready and started a spiritual journey.  When she came back there was a change.  Even though her body was sick she used this time as a time to become spiritual.  She had incredible care.  Was she accepting death or was she surrendering.  What do you say yes to?  She is at a state of completion.  She was told to fast.  An experience erupted.  40 days she fasted.  She was healed.  Death isn’t dramatic.  But in the moment when a soul separates.  It is a relief.  Ram Das says it is like leaving a tight shoe.  One of my teachers said, think of the creative universe as an arm and I am the thumb, then you are the finger.  Where does the arm actually start?  Everything’s an extension of the third dimension.  Did you see God?  There were five guides.  We have been billions of years in the making.  You have the genetic makeup.  What is the substrate and the highest vibration.  When Dena stood on the train tracks when her daughter passed away, she knew it was more than a passing.  She lost the knowledge.  This meant more than she was gone.  Dena wants to make an impact.  Did you feel that pressure because you got to come back?  Not in the same way.  She has a more relaxed state.  It is about opening space, and drawing out.  There is energy in the way you are describing it.  The piece that you are driving and you are disconnected from, is a contraction and not an opening.  It is about how you access it.  The more driven you become the less you have of it.  

The coaching of 40 days, you have to master reversals and inversions.  How did you get into coaching?  She joined a mastermind.  She didn’t even know what it was.  She was working in a bank.  She was lonely.  She went to a super seminar.  Her map was all the people from the bank.  She was called to be of service to the public.  In this mastermind, she was with high caliber executives, “zen and the heart of leadership”.  There was an offering to integrate all the beings.  There is only one person here and how do you do that with one persona.  She listened to traditional leadership.  They started talking about trust.  If people don’t trust her, then she has failed.  It gave her a voice into the group.  Someone asked her to coach them.  And that is how it started.  The doors opened up.

It is called from her.  It wasn’t something she was taught to do.  Her practice is very holistic.  One could call you an accountability coach.  They have to show up everyday.  We give authority to others so quickly and we attach to beliefs.  There was a moment that she took the healing on.  This entire physical body is a relationship with its soul.  Give the authority to the highest aspect and is allowed to come through you.  What radiates will heal at the psychological level.  She builds a safe place and dumps all of your darkness.  This is the container.  They can find themselves and put them back together.  If you do it consecutive days.  It has to do with it linking.  Coaching everyday for 40 days is important.  Link each day together.  Nothing is sudden, it is incremental.  This causes the brain to rewire.  This is a mileanation period, the 40 days.  The mind is a powerful tool.  What is expressed is a sense of wholeness.  There is knowledge now due to quantum physics and neuroscience.  You have access 24/7 to Lisa during coaching.  You build your own self knowing on an unbroken field for 40 days.   People’s lives are transformed.  She is holding space.  It is profound.  She is added to by every single person.  They have a nice community now.  It is so authentic.  Reversal and inversions.  In this world, authority is external…. looking for feedback. We are addicted to it.  We want to know what to do.  The first reversal is that nobody is out there and no one knows you.  You are the only authority.  It is a purification process.  The judge is so vicious.  All of the doubt.  The noise.  You need to quiet the mind and get the chatter out.  You have to know why.  Each person’s why is different.  To come to this quieted state of being, makes the yeses and nos loud.  Reversing to try it on.  You will find an incredible result.  Perspectives is a mirror.  What we see out there is a backwards image.  I need to force myself to do this purpose.  Society says you have to keep pushing.  The expansion is the opening of space.  Doing less is more.  Surrender the body.  Death and public speaking are the biggest fears.  The gift is complete surrender.  She helps people to know where to go to find their moment of surrender.  That is the priceless gift.  That is our birthright.  Could you give us the lowdown if I signed up for my 40 days.

A Grounding call comes first.  You have to journal all that you want to bring.  You might think you know what will come on the first day but there is something that always emerges which is hot.  Once you pull the thread, what you do one way, you do always.  One issue and one fear and one preoccupation, it starts to fall in.  Coaching and therapy is different.  She will sense psychological wounds and she will send you to a therapist so you can have coaching. 99% of humans are unexpressed.  The difference here is the courage to be cathartic.  Take the authentic cathartic….how did I cause this?  Shift from victim using the drama triangle.  Become a creator.  Life is a drama.  Move out of the animal nature.  Dominance hierarchy.  How do you need to feel powerful?  We have a big drama triangle.  You know the answer.  You will find out what you already know.  That is empowerment.  The state of being empowered.  We defer.  40 days is a new state of self care.  The flow is your birthright.  You become the gift to the world.  

We feel energized!  Thank you for sharing with us! Tap into what you already are.

How to find Lisa:

REGATTA CAPITAL GROUP, LLC

Office: 424-255-1045

Cell: 310-995-7695

Fax:  424-288-5227 

lisa@regattainvest.com

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Guest: Jenna Ruud | jennaruud2020@gmail 

SAMHSA National Helpline

Confidential free help, from public health agencies, to find substance use treatment and information.

1-800-662-4357

https://www.auroracommons.org/

Where did it begin? Many years of denial.  It was a roller coaster ride.  How did you enter into drugs?  She had a wonderful childhood.  Her parents were great.  When she was 12 her grandma developed brain cancer and it had a profound impact on their family.  She saw photos of herself from age 12 to 14 and it was night and day.  She always had a natural attraction to trouble.  She was ahead in school always and a lot of her reading always glamorized drugs.  It was a very cool thing.  Jenna felt that she was overprotected and felt it played a role in idealizing drugs.  Her siblings are 13 years apart so they didn’t play a huge part in drugs.  How did your family deal with the deaths?   It is blocked out in her memory.  Her biggest fear is when her Mom dies.  She will need all her strength and more.  What is falling apart?  Emotional, crying, napping during the day.  She started taking antidepressants.  It wasn’t who she was.  Jenna got pregnant and had an abortion at 13 during this time.  At 14 she started taking prescription drugs. She would be up for four days straight.  Her brain is wired for addiction.  Jenna is an overachiever.  Ask any addict, would you choose to be this way?  You can look at an addict’s brain and a non-addict and they are very different brains.  Drug addicts brains get turned on.  It can be pornography, gambling, video games.  When she was prostituting, she found her clients addicted to gambling and sex.  

Take us through the life of an addict.  Let’s go there.  Through the teenage years, she was told she was bright and gifted.  She had no interest.  A lot of her friends that were addicts had the thought that time was endless.  Every addict feels youthful, they feel like they have time.  She went to an artsy school and hippie.  She was pron to violent outbursts towards her Mom.  She threatened running away and killing herself.  By 16/17 she was in the subculture.  Mushrooms, acid, ecstasy.  She loves ecstasy more than heroin.  She camped, went to Mexico, hitchhiked.  By 19 she was pregnant with the first daughter.  20 with a second daughter.  The father beat her 8month old almost to death.  She had two babies at 21 years old.  She was a baby with babies.  She had a mental breakdown. She slit her wrists.  She gave her kids to her parents.  She went to a mental hospital.  White knuckling.  She would try to be normal, go to college.  It would last for a bit and then she would go off the wagon. She needed pills so much she drove 3 hours to get pills with her kids in the car.  She was the most fun on drugs.  She hated being sober.  It was uncomfortable.  The drugs made it go away.  Mid twenties her parents said she couldn’t be around the kids.  She was done.  Instead of killing herself, she just spiraled down.  By 30 she was arrested 9 times.  When did you become ok with needles?

When my children were two and three.  She was living in a trailer park.  She was getting pills here and there. Her neighbor said why don’t you do methadone?  She was so addicted and the pills were so expensive.  Heroin was next.  You can smoke it.  You can get high all day for 10 bucks.  It was progression.  She had a friend that shot up with needles.  He refused to shoot her up.  But he finally did.  It was game over.  Addicted.  It was amazing.  What does that mean?  Imagine you are stressed out and had the buzz effect of wine and slipped into the hot tub and had an orgasm and this is 1/100th of what you feel on heroin.  Your thoughts and your heart come back in your body when you are sober.  The negative chatter comes back and heroin blocks all that out.  Heroin actually does bond with your molecular system.  Everyday you feel like you have the flu without being high.  

Were the father’s around while you were at the trailer park?  She had horrible relationships.  The fathers of the kids were awful and one is in jail.  She white knuckled it.  Crappy jobs that she could get to buy diapers.  She would give up and parents would step in.  Once the parents got guardianship she went further.  She wanted to kill herself.  She wanted to take drugs.  She would fantasize about being clean.  Five years ago, she was prostituting for drugs.  If you do drugs and put them first, they will get to a point where they will do more.  This was before the epidemic.  They will become homeless, be in jail, and prostitutes.    

What kind of tools do they need to not go down this road?

I think we underestimate how stubborn teenagers are.  Knowing that if you keep going down this path, it could help.  She can tell if people are sincere.  If you use drugs this will happen.  You will be raped, you could die, your parents will disown you, etc.

Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

What do you want the audience to walk away with?  Start here.  In the depth of people’s addictions she met the most amazing people.  Everyone was suffering trauma.  They turned to pills.  Sitting on a corner at 4am.

Don’t you want to be clean?  She didn’t quit drugs because she hated drugs.  Heroin was always there for her.  She quit drugs because she loved them more than anything else.  The best thing that happened to her she went to jail.  Adulting sucks.   Bills, the stress.  They can do whatever they want and they look down on all of us adulting.  After 6 months of being clean in jail, she saw girls coming in off the streets it was so raw.  She detoxed in jail.  How long did it take?  89% of people that go to jail are on drugs.  It took 2 weeks in isolation.  They give you  .  Sleep, throw up, rinse, repeat.  It took a month for her to be able to stand up.

Five months into jail stay, her daughter started asking her to go to treatment.  But she was missing her soulmate heroin.  She now had a criminal record.  She went to treatment for a month after she got out.  The urge is always there.  She lives with it on a daily basis.

She advocates for a help center in Seattle. The Aurora Commons.  A communal living space.  Non-profit.  Spiritually based group.  You can wash your clothes.  You can play piano. You can cook, you can sit. Charge your phone.  It gave you dignity back.  She was there everyday to shower and use the bathroom.  Make-up, condoms were plentiful.  They tried to get her to a shelter.  After she was clean, she was on an advocacy group.  They meet and talk about what they can do for the women that are still using.  They care about what people need medically and emotionally.  She went back to Aurora with her kids to see it on a Saturday night.  She went back to the commons and was so well relieved and was never so listened to and received lots of hugs.

She gained a lot of weight.  But when people saw me sickly skinny.  She got lots of complements.  It was horribly reinforcing.  The adulting.  Getting life on track.  She craves escape.  A craving lasts only for 10 seconds.  You can get through it.  Her boyfriend is clean as well.  She met him on the streets.  She remembered all the bad things to help her not go back.  She recommends counseling.  She would go to help meetings when she was prostituting.  She meditates.   When you are using you are dead, don’t do those things to yourself when you are clean.  She lives with her youngest daughter now.  She can’t find a job with a record.  She has her sobriety and her family.  

The souls who have gone through the darkest of days have the most to give.  

What about the relationship with the drugs.  The gift of your journey will change lives.  She went through hell and back.  

Do you accept life showing up and being difficult.  She feels like she is coasting right now.  We need people to show compassion.  We put people in boxes.  She has family support.  She says we need communal places to lift up individuals.

To the people that are the family of drug addicts.  Drug addicts hate what they are doing to you.  They care so much it keeps them in the horrible cycle.  

Thank you for being vulnerable.  This opens doors for you not living in a place of fear.  

It is about getting through struggles!  We are honored to bring you into our tribe!  We are all in this thing called life together.  It goes back to opening your heart and asking for help!

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The universe brought Dena and Krista back together after 25 years of not seeing each other
• Krista discusses “Heartistry,” and how it is the way we can bring more compassion into the world and
care about humanity
• how we can bring service to our families, friends, communities, and strangers, and changing the
vibrations of the world
• It was instilled to make sacrifices for others and be a team, that was the start of her Heartistry
• Sacrifice has a negative connotation in this day and age, and Krista sees it as the highest good for all
• Krista had her mom as a good role model and being surrounded by women nurtured this part of herself
and it made her fearless
• There is a lot of fear in the world and a survival of the fittest mindset sets in
• Krista believes you cannot choose fear and love at the same time
• Fear is in the head and very comparative and self-degrading, it also reinforces superficial qualities
• Decrease fear in your life by experiencing it
• The drive to help others lies within all of us
• we need to get quiet enough to hear what our calling is and hear the voice
• What are you good at and how will you take that into the world and be of service? And if you are not
sure, use the universe to get the answer.
• What do I love to do? What am I really passionate about in life? What do you connect with on a social
level that you would like to raise the positive energy in the world? What am I good at? And how can I
combine these things to bring these positive things to the world?
• Putting energy around it brings it to fruition
• All of this takes time and patience. You are working in collaboration with the universe.
• The vibrations also bring up other people, not just yourself
• Important message: You are not alone
• The more you give, the more you get.
• Krista felt like a connector to the universe to raise hope in the community
• The name of the group “The Fabulous Women” was coined by the community
• She shared the stories, miracles, and life lessons and she started to write about soul purpose
• She realized that everyone already has a soul purpose that they need to invite into their life
• Krista felt writing was a bit of an awakening and it was a part of her identity
• Krista talks about her dad and how he was one of the most influential teachers in her life, he instilled a
sense of leadership within her
• her dad told her that every great leader has the courage to start backwards. She did not understand it
at age 10, but she understood it that night in Sedona and she realized she was going to write her book
from back to front, which is why the book starts at chapter 16
• Krista created a safe environment for women and men to get together and discuss how to grow,
support, each other, and live our best lives. The group is called Dare to Shine
• She empowers women to own their emotions to create an energetic shift
• Krista discusses how pain is a portal, people can see it as a way to get through the pain and to use it to
find a way to make a difference in the world
• Dena says that if you have the courage to be with your pain, it will eventually dissipate on its own.
When you resist it, it manifests into something unhealthy
• Now for the story of the paperclip. The exercise is about attachment and we never get more attached to
something, such as an outcome, than we do to a paperclip. Everything shifts on a dime and we have to
be open to that thought.

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Laura Halpin: The Science and Spirit of Nourishment

• iSoulify welcomes Laura Halpin who is with Growing Health and is a Certified Nutrition Consultant and health handholder.

• Laura speaks about the dynamics of health and how we can address our health and manifest wellness from a different perspective

• Laura shares her story about her awareness around food began in college when she encountered someone making a choice around food (vegetarian) for choices other than hunger or it taste.

• Turning point occured when her friend Julie was diagnosed with breast cancer and she began a quest for understanding the relationship between our health and the food we put in our bodies

• Laura had decided to go back to school to study nutrition while Julie was still alive.

• Laura’s initial debut in helping others was healing people’s acne, headaches, etc through cleansing.

• Laura educates how you can eat in a satisfying and pleasurable way and still nourish your body and you don’t have to sacrifice deliciousness.

• Laura says that life in the United States involves complicated relationships with food. For example, we sometimes feel forbiddenness around food and there are many rules around the way we eat.

• Food is emotion and connection and we should embrace that.

• From the very first time we were breastfed there was a connection and comfort in food.

• Laura talks about cravings first in our relationship with food. She likes to use the acronym HALT, which makes the person ask themselves if they are hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. A craving is a way not to feel, we reach for facebook or cookies or alcohol to numb when it is too painful to be in our bodies.

• What we want to do is let the energy come through you and don’t engage with the energy and ask, “what do you need, and what can I do for you?”

• Ask if your habits are cushioning you or numbing you?

• Laura says how the language around food is fear inducing which is misleading.

• When we become afraid of a food, there is energy around it and we think it is a bad food and when we eat it we become bad.

• Everyone gets to define what health means to them and our physical health could be there, but our mental health could be bad.

• Laura speaks of an eating disorder called orthorexia which is eating “perfect”. Restricting causes us to swing into unhealthy habits and that swing is caused by shame and failure.

• People equate their worth with what they put into their mouth, and that is so pervasive.

• Dialing into one’s body while they eat it is important to know if it works for their body.

• Laura calls herself a Health Handholder, someone to hold the big picture and to take care of the little details.

•The emotional piece around food drives everything and our relationship to our health is about the relationship we have to ourselves.

• Laura tries to reacquaint her clients with things that give them pleasure like food, nature, a podcast and grow those moments that bring us pleasure and value and creating value takes time.

• Relationships, spirituality, and nourishment all take time.

• Laura shares how the external expectations influence us being in our bodies and the idea of an image is external and has been learned. As time goes on, we learn to stand outside of our body and judge it.

• The truth is, you cannot tell by the size of someone’s body if they are depressed, happy, if they have cancer.

• Her goal is to give her clients accurate and nourishing food information.

• Dieting has an idea of restriction, and the body wants homeostasis. Diets don’t work.

• Laura brings up the book No Weigh, written by Signe Darpinian who writes about a theory that if foods were in equal availability, each item would be chosen equally.

• Allow yourself to enjoy these things in moderation and if one has a better relationship with our food and how it feels, the energy in a Reese’s or a Coke for example will not feel good to us.

• Laura’s goal is to help her clients choose foods that create stability in energy, mood, sleep quality, brain performance.

• If you have stability in your body, no matter what comes your way, you will be more resilient Your weaknesses become more mild when you have stability in your body.

• Laura says for one, people have to be in a fair amount of discomfort or pain to want to change their.

• Laura says there are some easy changes one can implement day to day that will make an impact in how people feel.

• One of them is balancing blood sugar and that means having enough fat, protein, and plants in each meal.

• Laura is all about not making drastic changes, it is more about making small changes each day to evolve one’s eating. NO QUICK FIX.

• This mantra is so effective because it doesn’t tell people what they “can’t have”. It’s almost like substituting instead of engaging in rule restricting.

• Colleen views food and cooking as a way to connect with people. She loves cooking with her children and uses food as a way of connecting.

• Food/eating has a role or place in different religions, cultures, practices. It is entrenched in each and affects what and how people eat and the idea of restriction in a community can be for a higher purpose (e.g. religion).

• Laura says cells like a break from constant feeding, that’s where intermittent fasting comes from.

• Laura does year-long workshops, works one-on-one with people in Walnut Creek, does periodic online programs, and also has a virtual health book club where people gather to talk about spirituality and nutrition.

• Typically, she works with women and teenage- or college-age girls.

• Laura also deals with systemic issues: allergies or immune issues.

• When Laura works with people, she has them (1) keep a diet journal, (2) do a symptom reporting assessment, and (3) complete a health history narrative.

• Symptom Reporting Assessment for patients to report symptoms as this allows Laura to see where symptoms are clustered in the body.

• Health History is basically a narrative that includes the client’s goals, what their relationship with food is, how often they take antibiotics, and other dietary information.

• Laura takes all of this information to create a personalized plan for each patient instead of taking an approach that focuses on eliminating things from someone’s diet.

• Habits don’t change unless your beliefs and your relationship with yourself shift.

• Laura studied nutrition at Bowman College.

• Laura relates this back to her year-long program called “a year of living mindfully” because it teaches them to be pay attention to themselves.

• It teaches us how to maintain a healthy relationship with yourself and pay attention to your body It has a collective starting point in February and goes for 11 months with a cohort of people.

Related Links www.laurahalpin.com

Recommended book: No Weigh!!!

A Teen’s Guide to Positive Body Image, Food, and Emotional Wisdom.

By Signe Darpinian, Wendy Sterling, Shelley Accarwal

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• Marnie Jubelier is a Family Law Attorney, specializing in divorce for women
• Marnie talks about the mental process and tips regarding contemplating divorce
• People contemplate divorce a very long time before they actually do it
• Marnie lessens everyone’s anxiety about divorce and the unknowns especially finances
• Marnie said things most of the time things are not cut and dry
• Marnie will make sure you come out happier at the end of the process
• Don’t be complacent, know what you have and participate in your finances
• Day to day income is shared between the two spouses
• Marnie is only licensed in California and loves practicing in California because it is very common sense law
• In California, everything acquired from the moment someone is married to the moment they are divorced is equally shared and is divided by two
• Marnie doesn’t like the term “standard of living”
• If you think you are headed for divorce, start getting yourself educated and heading for a career
• The law in California says you have to work at a full time job if you are asking for child and spouse support
• Being out of the workplace for 20 years and trying to earn a living after that is very difficult
• Empowering women and empowering yourself is very important in this situation
• Dena asks what Marni advises in terms of balancing what is best for someone
• Signing off on property, even during the marriage in a refinance, can be detrimental and make sure things like a house are still community property and  have both people on the title to make sure from that date going forward it is a shared asset
• Marnie says you can create a prenup and a postnup but she does not particularly do prenups because they may sometimes not hold as California law can be overridden in prenups
• Marnie educates us that around 80% of people do their own divorces
• Marnie says that if one person moves out of the house, the married couple are legally separated from the date of move out and everything spent after that date and everything earned after that date is each individual person’s own things and Marni you can be legally separated even while living under the same roof
• The law is that your date of separation is the day that one person tells the other person that the marriage is over
• You can also file for legal separation and legal divorce, but if it is a temporary separation, these are not the best idea
• The legal separation and actual divorce have very similar processes, the only difference is that with the separation, they are not actually divorced and they cannot marry anyone else
• Marnie sheds light on when it is better to get a mediator or an attorney
• 99% of the time she does mediation, which means she is not representing either party
• Marnie says to try mediation first because the benefits are so huge because they generally feel more generous because they did not pay a $10,000 retainer fee
• Marnie helps relieve anxieties about the unknowns that come with divorce and she likes to educate both parties
• Marnie can get people through divorce at a fraction of the cost of what it normally does, she can do the divorce in 10-12 hours, with homework of course
• The emotional benefit of not going through a litigated divorce is so huge on so many levels
• Marnie had special training to become a divorce mediator, not all attorneys are divorce mediators
• Marnie empowers her clients by also helping them get back into the worksforce
• Parting advice is that everyone ends up ok even though it is a different ok
• Knowing that ultimately both parties want to be happy, things will turn out ok

Special Links

http://marniej.com

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Amanda Elo’esh is our guest today. She conducts plant medicine ceremonies, sacred leadership training and spiritual mentoring in the San Francisco Bay Area!

Amanda’s work was inspired by her life events and curiosities

When she was a young girl she wanted to understand God and eternity

She would go into meditative trances and she would have ecstatic, nirvana, elevated experiences

She started to realize there was something bigger than the third dimension

Over time she noticed she was considered gifted and wise beyond her years

It impacted her in positive ways but there were also challenges

She was in a gifted program and she was learning about placebos

Amanda will try to clarify source and guided imagery

Source is a kind of energy and is rooted in love and is different for everyone

Source makes life happen, it is what created this reality

Amanda says that guided imagery is images that happen in our imagination in a sensory way

Guided imagery is a relaxation technique that uses positive mental images to influence how you feel

As humans we have a limited third dimensional reality, and we can’t access source because we are limited because of our knowledge and beliefs but source is infinite!

Our imaginations are limitless and that is the portal to source

We can access higher realms of consciousness through the imagination

Dena and Amanda share experiences of events that occured in another dimension.

Generations of mammals learn survival skills that are almost like an imprinting of wisdom that’s passed down from generation to generation

We have instincts on how to survive and these guide us

Amanda is very passionate about consciousness and so she studied psychology and expressive arts therapy

Amanda used to be a bit of a skeptic before she had experiences that validated her beliefs

Her Shamanic journey was the start of her transformation and deep healing experience and she started to explore her spirituality through art

Amanda also works with plant medicine, working with cannabis in a conscious way

She realized she could use cannabis in a meditative way and access source again

Amanda shares that she was a social worker for many years said it was hard work because you are constantly in other people’s crises

She kept having representative dreams that she was responsible for children in a warzone and the universe was telling her to stay in that space of social work

One day she was at her desk and she almost felt like someone told her “You are done now, you can do whatever you want.” and she thought, well what do I want to do?

She applied for her Masters at CIIS which is California Institute of Integral Studies and got accepted!

Amanda let source show her the way and she stopped planning things

She got to do what she had been doing for her whole life in a clinical, supervised setting

Amanda describes how to access source as she sits down and meditates and opens herself to things bigger than herself

People come to Amanda when there is something beyond them that prevents them from having their happiness and direction

More than 90-95% of our decisions and behaviors are run by the subconscious

It is essential to know how to access the subconscious

Amanda is leads Colleen and Dena through an exploration of their subconscious

The first being the subconscious has guards to keep you from getting into it because it is convinced that it is keeping you alive, it is basically in survival mode

The way that the subconscious opens the door is by bringing in compassion because it is not seen as the enemy anymore

The best way to do it is to open the mind and be curious and be willing to be in the unknown

The body holds a lot of the ways that the subconscious expresses itself

The mind pays attention to signals and these signals manifest in different ways

Amanda says the first thing she likes to do is shake their hands out

The next step is to stay in our bodies and feel our physical bodies in this third dimension

The body must feel connected to the Earth, holding you and helping you feel grounded and safe during this experience

She says to keep your mind open and stay curious and be open to something greater than yourself

Allow yourself to have the intention to be open to all that is greater than you and what wishes you well

Focus on your breathing and opening up and spreading like branches

Reaching this breath up to the heavens and tuning into that source to ensure connection above and below

Invite a compassion ally to help guide through the experience

This ally could be someone we know, someone we don’t know, someone passed

This being has the ability to see every single thing about you and love all of it and recognize that it is your third dimension reality doing its best

This ally is there to help you through your experience

This ally may be behind you, in front, above, below, or even within you

Now that this connection and presence has been established, Amanda invites them to tune into a program or something frustrating that no matter what you have done, you have not been able to shift it

This program may bring up difficult feelings

Let yourself experience these feelings and thoughts as fully as possible

Notice where it is showing up in your body

Where we look is where our consciousness goes, so imagine you are looking at the place where you feel this experience in your body

Breath is a messenger for our compassion ally, and the breath is going to deliver the message of compassion to this part of your body

It is ok to open and soften and this trauma does not need to be held onto anymore

Let the breath to continue to soften it open

We want to be kind and gentle and loving

Breathe into that place and let it know that it is loved no matter what

Let the mind start to notice if there is any information coming through

A memory, a person, lyrics to a song

Breathe there and notice this

Thank this part of you for being connected with from the conscious mind

Assume something beneficial happened

Thank the compassion ally

Tuning back into the physical body and feeling the connection with source

When you are ready, gently open your eyes

Amanda says that experience is getting these programmed areas off of the program and reconnected back with the body

It is rejoining the two parts

Amanda loves what she does because she gets to teach people how to do this and empower them

Dena asks what came up for Amanda in her life right now

Amanda shares personal stories of how old trauma showed up in her life until she got through her “programming” by recognizing the trauma and becoming aware that it was guiding her

She unraveled the pattern over time and her relationships got better and better

If we don’t see how we are manifesting our reality, then we are victim to it

The good news is that we can change it once we know how

Through tuning in and connection to Source, it is possible to unravel the programming

Everyone has core childhood “traumas” that affect them

We become abusive to the parts of ourselves that we don’t like

Those parts deserve compassion, it grows up when we own it and give it compassion

Going into dialogue with this part of yourself is very important

It is basically building a relationship with yourself, mending that trauma, getting rid of the trauma, and the self becomes more whole, complete, and present

Amanda uses plants to help access that compassion and break down barriers

Amanda is hosting a grief retreat in beautiful Tulume

Amanda says that the ocean taught her some rituals for this experience to help people let go of these traumas

Chocolate is a deep, profounding healer so they are doing ceremonies with cacao

Amanda’s paring words are to stay curious and stay open

If your life is having a hard time, it is not your fault and you have ways to shift it

Your imagination is your source

We all have creation in front of us!

https://eloesh.com/

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