S2/Ep26: Keira Coates, Learn Tips to Reparent in Order to Go After Your Dreams

Keira Coates

Reparenting Coach

Learn Tips to Reparent in Order to Go After Your Dreams


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Where did your passion start?  It started in 2003 when she learned about a non-profit that was teaching social and emotional learning in the inner city of NYC.  She cried and couldn’t stop.  She had 6 traumas happen to her by the time she was 9 years old.  Wow.  My life would have been different if she had had this program.  She started teaching in a gang neighborhood.  Her energy was the most important thing that made the most impact.  She is not going anywhere and she made it a point.  She changed peoples lives.  She grew apart because she had different values.  She studied resiliency and got her masters degree.  Children are rarely the problem.  Parents do the best that they can but they are missing skills.  They are missing being seen and heard.  She felt like in order to help children, she needed to work with the parents.  They are limiting their ability to connect because of their own shame and pain.  It opens up doors in their lives.  They can show up and be more visible.  

Parents find a sense of relief.  She wants to debunk that things are carried on from generation to generation.  She was scared she had a monster inside of her.  We have a fear of not creating the same mistakes.  She works on specific areas.  It is a relief.  “I am my father’s daughter”.  Dena has a friend who says that.  I am who I am because of my genes.  Is this your coat?  

If you grow up in an environment where you have to take care of others, a lot of your energy is about protecting yourself.  Most of the women want to shift energy from protection to moving outwards.  You need to understand your responses and change them.  This is about the nervous system.  Regulate your hormones first.  Get sleep, eat right and then you can have reactions but you will feel a sense of balance.  You don’t feel constant chaos.  You will feel stability in your body.  You make choices from being more grounded.  The more safe you feel, the more willing you will be to have a conversation.  The more grounded the more the other person will respond to you in a good way.  

Learning to regulate your emotions is a long term game.  Get someone to come down to you instead of escalate.  She works on people with relationships with themselves.  Where do you have a desire that you are not bringing to light?  How do you hold ourselves back?  There is a story behind that.  

Dena shares a story.  If that person can do it, I can do it.  This is a powerful tool.  Why is this holding you back?  This is self discovery.

Is this a systematic approach?  Each person has their own process and outcomes.  It is a different path. 

There are 8 pillars of re-parenting.  It will show up if you are lacking.  One of them is being celebrated.  If you don’t have that, you become a drama queen or you don’t share anything.  

What about if you have one parent that celebrates?

Laura Grace Grier Travel Podcast is up next!


How comfortable are you with praise?  This is what it comes down to.  It would affect what you saw as the gender roles. 

There is nothing wrong with getting attention.  The point is whether you can give and receive attention.  

Is part of this visualization where you imagine your perfect parents?  That is who Keira wants to be.  That is her goal.  She recommends that.  

It is good if you are working on something and sit down and write down what your ideal mother and father would do to support you.  She finds that people are showing up.  The victim stories disappear.  She finds things that she can do for herself.

Will the victim go away?  It always comes up.  The point is not to fix yourself but it is about support for you to step into your limitations so you can achieve the things that are important to you.  This is the first time in history where people have tools to look at their emotions in different ways.  This is a huge opportunity to change generational stories.  Or to become women that this world has never seen before.  

When you get the things you want and people trickle off.  What happens there?  Our relationships offer us opportunities to expand where we are.  Everything is just feedback.  If you don’t get attention from someone, meet them at their level.  

She doesn’t like cancel culture.  Friends get jealous. Give them space.  She won’t go to them for support but she still cares for them.  You can get your needs met in other places.  

Invest time and energy where people meet you.  Keira doesn’t want relationships that are based on lack.  

Keira lived in Argentina.  Have more relationships in your life!  In America we move around a lot and we leave families.  Our circle gets larger but smaller.  You need to learn different things from different people.  The advice is to have lots of relationships.  Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.  Invest in relationships.  

Keira experienced a recent tragedy and it was a friend from elementary school that gave her advice.  It was someone that knew her for a long time.  All relationships have different roles in our lives.  

How can someone work with you?  


3 month program

Intensive on visibility

She shares on Instagram

She does training on relationship skills

She can work you, one on one

Relationships are wealth.  Invest in them!  You will receive dividends!

Parting words?  She wants to encourage women to honor their dreams and the best way is to shine your light and put yourself out there.  You give permission to everyone around you to shine their light brighter!  Say yes to yourself and enjoy yourself!


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