- Lynne Edris is an ADD coach who specializes in working with professionals who struggle to reach their potential because of poor time management and distractibility.
- She is a woman with ADD herself, and she was able to get to a life of calm and success.
- Lynne Edris is a wife, a mom, a successful entrepreneur, a writer, a singer, and her professional work is in ADHD coaching.
- Dena wants Lynne to start with her story about what led her to her work.
- Lynne says everything in her life has led her to where she is, all of her pain and triumphs have created who she is today. She is very passionate about the people that she works with and supports every day.
- Her more direct path is that she is one of four daughters, and all of them were ADD. She grew up in a loud, chaotic, energetic household. She thought all of that craziness was normal. She went to college and gravitated towards people who were like her.
- She got married, and her husband does not have a drop of ADHD in his blood. He is an engineer and a very logical and organized person. They balance each other very well, they have been married for 32 years.
- Lynne’s son who is now 25, has ADHD. He had impulsive, crazy behavior. He was walking at 8 months old.
- Dena asks when Lynne recognized that she had ADHD. Was it prior to having her son, or was it not until she had her son that she recognized it and learned more about it?
- Lynne has a Bachelor’s degree in psychology with a concentration in human development. She learned a lot about ADHD in the early to mid 80s.
- When she learned about ADHD, the symptom checklist matched up to her own symptoms.
- Lynne says she is the inattentive type and not physically hyperactive.
- Once Lynne started to learn more about ADHD, she realized that she probably did have ADHD.
- Dena asks how Lynne’s ADHD fully manifests itself? Is it different for everybody?
- Lynne says people’s ADHD is different for everybody.
- ADHD is not a deficit in attention, it is a deficit in our ability to regulate our attention. When we are stimulated by something, we can have hyperfocus, and the rest of the world can disappear.
- In adults, ADHD shows up in challenges such as procrastination, disorganization, and poor time management.
- ADHD is highly undiagnosed in adults.
- Colleen asks if you can outgrow ADHD as an adult?
- There is some disagreement on this, but there is some neuroplasticity in puberty. What happens more often, is we learn how to manage and develop coping mechanisms.
- Lynne says “mental gerbils” can be a by product of ADHD. This is typically when people are scattered or stressed out about something, or not taking time to take care of themselves. Thoughts can feel whirling and pinging. It can be difficult to regulate thoughts and focus on a thought.
- Dena asks what kind of tools that can help calm and self regulate the whirling in one’s head.
- Lynne says she does this every day. It comes from understanding how your own brain works and how you organize things naturally and process naturally. These are all keys to your strengths that you can use to managing ADHD. This is called a strength approach to managing ADHD.
- Colleen asks if clumsiness can be part of it and if it manifests physically?
- Lynne says yes, it can be not focusing on the present moment and manifest as physical accidents.
- Lynne is an ADHD coach who works with professionals all over the world. Not everyone who comes to her has been diagnosed, but they present with poor follow through, time management, and organization. She helps people correct these so they can accomplish what they want to.
- Colleen asks how to turn a facet of ADD into something positive.
- Lynne says that every characteristic has a positive and a negative side. For example, if you are struggling with focus, the positive side with difficulty regulating attention is that you notice more things. You may tune into things better and be more empathetic. You may see different patterns, problem solving, and thinking outside the box.
- Lynne helps people tap into these gifts and use the positive side of things.
- Dena asks if someone came to her about time management, how would Lynne help people improve their time management?
- Lynne says first it is thinking about time management. It is more of an umbrella term that encompasses how people perceive the flow of time because people with ADHD process and feel time differently than someone with a more linear brain.
- Dena asks if going “all out” on a goal is an ADHD tendency, and if this extreme effort seems balanced?
- Lynne says it is not very balanced, but again, everyone is different. This pattern can be something we develop over time and is reinforced. If we procrastinate things, and the impending deadline fires up our brain and goes into the intense mode of hyperfocus. This might work at a young age in certain instances, but this cycle can result in a crash and burn.
- As people get older, they have more responsibilities and the crash and burn cycle can be dangerous. These cycles can become more frequent, and it is not sustainable.
- People who work better under pressure typically have ADHD and have reinforced delay and motivation which results in the crash and burn cycle.
- Experts estimate that 80-85% of adults with ADHD have not been diagnosed.
- A big part of the problem is that the symptoms present differently in a 60 year old compared to an 8 year old. A lot of times, professionals only know what symptoms to look for in an 8 year old presenting with ADHD.
- Dena asks if Lynne has encountered people who self-medicate to cope with this hamster on the wheel phenomena?
- Lynne says that people can develop unhealthy strategies and coping mechanisms to help them deal with life. They can be counterproductive and destructive. There is a lot of shame and self blame for these people.
- People with ADHD do not have less knowledge or skills, they are not able to do things that work for THEM.
- When people struggle for years to do things they intellectually know they need to do but can’t, they draw the conclusion that there is something wrong with them, they are not driven, they are lazy. This is what Lynne wants to help people fix.
- Lynne wants to help people resolve their ideas about themselves. She wants them to know that they are as capable as the next person when they know how to tap into your skills correctly and do things that work for their ADHD self.
- Dena asks Lynne to talk about her tribe, and how to join her tribe.
- Lynne’s tribe is adults with ADHD or adults with busy brains who struggle with procrastination, disorganization, weak follow through, and poor time management. It is incredibly powerful to be around other adults who struggle with the same things.
- Being able to talk about their struggles openly is life changing. It helps people to know that there are people out there struggling with the same things.
- Lynne shares a story about how she decided to create something to help her tribe come out the other side of the pandemic better off than when they went into it. She wanted to create a place to connect and grow.
- Her idea was to create a free program 8 weeks long to talk about ADHD and self improvement concepts. She wanted to do 3 live sessions, create a FB community, and more. She wanted to do it in two weeks or less.
- She was able to get Dr. Ned Hallowell who is the leading expert in ADHD and she knew that her program would take off from there.
- There were 1,800 in the program and community. She loved seeing people holding each other up and supporting one another. She called it the “Time to Thrive” Group, and it is still going. She is doing another round in January.
- Colleen asks how the tribe structure looks like.
- Time to Thrive is different from her paid programs. All you have to do is go to www.timetothrivegroup.com and sign up, you will get your onboarding email and a link to join a private Facebook group. The events are live streamed to Facebook and Youtube.
- People can sign up for group programs as well, which are paid. She also has private clients which are individualized and 1-on-1.
- Lynne’s parting words are to understand that there is nothing wrong with you. You are not broken, you are not damaged goods. There are millions of people like you who have struggled with the same things, and have come out the otherside. You can learn to fire on all cylinders in all areas of your life. To fulfill your potential is something that is possible. Every individual on this planet can fulfill their potential with the right help. No matter what, don’t give up!
Monthly Archives: December 2020
Lisa Hayim is a registered dietician and Founder of The Well Necessities who graduated from Columbia University
Dena asks how Lisa found the path to her work.
Lisa says that she didn’t find her work, but the work found her. She avoided being a dietitian for a while because the prerequisite courses were very difficult.
She ended up going to University of Miami and getting her degree in psychology and communications.
She realized towards the end of her degree that she wanted to do something different. She wanted to really look at dieticians.
She also had to transfer colleges which was difficult.
As a kid, she always felt like she was just ‘medium’ smart, and it became ingrained in her from a young age that she was not smart. When she came to college, that imprint came stronger. She was able to warp it and work harder to get to where she needed to be.
She was then ready for nutrition with her new mindset.
She went to Columbia in NY, she did not get in the first time so had to retry. It was difficult, but she never stopped her hard work.
Dena asks how she became passionate about food.
She was passionate about how food worked in the body, and this interest came from a body image issue. She had a fear of weight gain and had a desire to control what she ate.
Her intentions were pure, she wanted to study intentions and how to feel good. Unfortunately, everything led back to weight and weight loss instead of just wanting your body to feel good.
Everything she read and consumed, told the same story. Health and weight became blurred and were one in the same.
She is trying to untangle this and look at food as nourishment instead of weight. Weigh is such a small metric to measure our health.
Lisa works primarily with people who have a disordered relationship with food. It is not necessarily anorexia or bulimia, but it is disordered. This can be disguised as just “healthy eating,” but it truly can be disordered.
She was obsessed and controlled by food. She had rigid rules and if she broke from them, she would have behaviors that would compensate. She did not know she was suffering because people would applaud her.
Her mind became controlled by food and all she thought about was food. She helps people escape this cycle.
Colleen asks if this disordered eating is a generational thing.
Lisa says that she deals with women ages 16-70. The only part that is generational is the willingness to recognize that disordered eating is an issue.
She wants people to know that it doesn’t have to be like this. Food should be abundant.
Disordered eating exists for many people, including men. The population that comes to her though is mostly women and ranges all ages.
Dena asks why women may have troubles with weight when they get older.
Lisa explains how normalizing all bodies is so important. A body with rolls can still be a healthy body.
Doctors subscribe to that same black and white reality and see being overweight as the main factor of bad health.
It should be about treating a patient by their symptoms and complaints. It is not just about their weight.
Weight CAN be correlated with disease, but it’s not causationally related to disease
There are more markers to health than just weight, weight is a cheap and easy way to measure health and it is doing a disservice to the patient.
This also reinforces that there is only one body size that is healthy which is NOT the truth.
Women above 50 have hormonal shifts that cause them to retain more weight.
Lisa likes to ask women to look at health behaviors to take in that will not negatively impact their health.
Many behaviors that women engage in to lose weight can have harmful impacts on long term health. For example, sugar-free chemicals can have a negative impact in our microbiome that impacts hormones.
It is not as simple to just worry about calories.
We have lost our connection to the food and the planet and ourselves.
We have muted our own body cues, and the brain and body are living in separate worlds. We must reconnect them.
Lisa says the most frustrating advice might be to “listen to your body” but we must have real tools to create mind body connection to allow signals to be heard again.
Creating the mind body connection is important.
Lisa uses a modern mindful eating method. We have an outer wisdom, which comes from culture, and inner wisdom comes from what our body tells us.
She says we must be flexible with what our body tells us, and listening to our body is being flexible. Make sure what is best for you is also built for a lifestyle for you.
Hunger is a beautiful guide to know when to eat and fuel your body. We eat because it’s a way to bond with each other, because food tastes or smells good, because food is comforting, and food is emotional.
We must make space and listen to what that is. When you reach for a cookie, ask yourself “Why do I want this cookie?” Then giving yourself permission to enjoy the cookie.
Dena asks if guilt and shame with eating affects our body. Lisa says yes, it does. When we feel stress in any way, our body is not in digest mode, it is in run mode.
Having peaceful meals is important to listen to your body and not be distracted or disconnected from one’s self.
She wants to bring people back to how food should not be something that should be controlled and eaten very little of.
We need food for energy; why are we always trying to get as little energy as possible?
Dena says how she is in a culture where sometimes the connection with food is almost sensual.
Food is one of those things that feels good to us, so without other ways of how to get serotonin and happiness, people are brought back to food over and over again. There is nothing wrong with that, but it is good to learn other things that make you happy.
Colleen asks what other things produce similar things as eating.
Lisa says the first thing is to give permission to eat. Eating is not a bad thing and we must be compassionate when it comes to eating. It creates space for things to not feel as dangerous.
Lisa says to first get to know their values. Value clarification work is important. This helps separate what you actually value and what you are told to value. This helps people to recognize that their top 3 values are getting no attention because their space is preoccupied by trying to be “healthy.”
People’s lives are stolen by thoughts about food, bodies, and control. People then must step into doing things that are important to them.
Taking time to be creative is something that most people don’t allow themselves to do, but doing this is a great way to guide people to explore tasks that feel good on their nervous system.
Lisa helps people become aware and get into a space to tune into themselves.
Once you can listen to yourself, that noise doesn’t matter.
Colleen asks when Lisa’s epiphany was.
Lisa’s shift in her private practice was when her personal life looked vastly different than what she was preaching at her practice.
She realized she was able to detach her worth from how her physical body looked. She also knew how to listen to her body and liberate herself.
She looked at her “imperfections” with softer eyes.
She wanted to help people who were coming to her get to the same place she was at.
She wanted to bring mindful eating to her clients as well.
Healthy relationships with food are when it doesn’t have to do with how a body looks.
Being vegan or Keto does not mean you have disordered eating, it is more about what your brain space looks like while you are on those diets. Being flexible is important while on these diets.
The first thing Lisa does with her clients is nutrition education. She helps people re-learn nutrition in basic ways without tying it to wait. She talks about carbohydrates, proteins, and fats. Naturally, why would you ever cut any of them out? The best thing we can do is empower with education rather than fear.
Colleen talks about how she loves french fries, but she read somewhere that having french fries is the equivalent to smoking a cigarette.
Obviously, this is a very extreme example, but Lisa says that often people in the biohacking world dramatize food and eating.
Lisa says that for foods you love, is better to have them around more. All of a sudden, you are eating less of them because you normalized and neutralized a food like that.
It is worse to put foods on pedestals because we enter with a scarcity mindset; having them more often breaks down barriers that allows the body to gravitate towards nutrients.
When you are in tune with your body, you will not have as many cravings. Desires and preferences are different though than cravings.
Colleen discusses Lisa’s mission statement: Lisa’s reason for being on this Earth is to show people that there is a better way to live than the one they may know.
Colleen asks Lisa to talk about her business
Lisa’s main platform is Instagram: @lisahayim
She is launching two podcasts: one is called Outweigh which is about disordered eating, the other is called The Truthiest Life which learns about the true version of people.
She doesn’t want to take the business side too seriously because she doesn’t want to lose the parts of her authentic self.
Forkthenoise.com has her courses – Ditch Diets for Good which is a $20 introduction to relearn the truth about how the body works. Fork the Noise Fundamentals teaches the framework for mindful eating. In 2021, she will have a third course that will take it to the next level.
To reach out to her, you can DM her on Instagram @lisahayim
It can feel like a trek, but it is the journey home. The other side of discomfort is growth. Not controlling your food will lead to building upon itself. Celebrate little wins and recognize that you are freeing your mind to be the version of you that your world needs.