Monthly Archives: July 2019

• Marnie Jubelier is a Family Law Attorney, specializing in divorce for women
• Marnie talks about the mental process and tips regarding contemplating divorce
• People contemplate divorce a very long time before they actually do it
• Marnie lessens everyone’s anxiety about divorce and the unknowns especially finances
• Marnie said things most of the time things are not cut and dry
• Marnie will make sure you come out happier at the end of the process
• Don’t be complacent, know what you have and participate in your finances
• Day to day income is shared between the two spouses
• Marnie is only licensed in California and loves practicing in California because it is very common sense law
• In California, everything acquired from the moment someone is married to the moment they are divorced is equally shared and is divided by two
• Marnie doesn’t like the term “standard of living”
• If you think you are headed for divorce, start getting yourself educated and heading for a career
• The law in California says you have to work at a full time job if you are asking for child and spouse support
• Being out of the workplace for 20 years and trying to earn a living after that is very difficult
• Empowering women and empowering yourself is very important in this situation
• Dena asks what Marni advises in terms of balancing what is best for someone
• Signing off on property, even during the marriage in a refinance, can be detrimental and make sure things like a house are still community property and  have both people on the title to make sure from that date going forward it is a shared asset
• Marnie says you can create a prenup and a postnup but she does not particularly do prenups because they may sometimes not hold as California law can be overridden in prenups
• Marnie educates us that around 80% of people do their own divorces
• Marnie says that if one person moves out of the house, the married couple are legally separated from the date of move out and everything spent after that date and everything earned after that date is each individual person’s own things and Marni you can be legally separated even while living under the same roof
• The law is that your date of separation is the day that one person tells the other person that the marriage is over
• You can also file for legal separation and legal divorce, but if it is a temporary separation, these are not the best idea
• The legal separation and actual divorce have very similar processes, the only difference is that with the separation, they are not actually divorced and they cannot marry anyone else
• Marnie sheds light on when it is better to get a mediator or an attorney
• 99% of the time she does mediation, which means she is not representing either party
• Marnie says to try mediation first because the benefits are so huge because they generally feel more generous because they did not pay a $10,000 retainer fee
• Marnie helps relieve anxieties about the unknowns that come with divorce and she likes to educate both parties
• Marnie can get people through divorce at a fraction of the cost of what it normally does, she can do the divorce in 10-12 hours, with homework of course
• The emotional benefit of not going through a litigated divorce is so huge on so many levels
• Marnie had special training to become a divorce mediator, not all attorneys are divorce mediators
• Marnie empowers her clients by also helping them get back into the worksforce
• Parting advice is that everyone ends up ok even though it is a different ok
• Knowing that ultimately both parties want to be happy, things will turn out ok

Special Links

http://marniej.com

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Laura Halpin: The Science and Spirit of Nourishment

• iSoulify welcomes Laura Halpin who is with Growing Health and is a Certified Nutrition Consultant and health handholder.

• Laura speaks about the dynamics of health and how we can address our health and manifest wellness from a different perspective

• Laura shares her story about her awareness around food began in college when she encountered someone making a choice around food (vegetarian) for choices other than hunger or it taste.

• Turning point occured when her friend Julie was diagnosed with breast cancer and she began a quest for understanding the relationship between our health and the food we put in our bodies

• Laura had decided to go back to school to study nutrition while Julie was still alive.

• Laura’s initial debut in helping others was healing people’s acne, headaches, etc through cleansing.

• Laura educates how you can eat in a satisfying and pleasurable way and still nourish your body and you don’t have to sacrifice deliciousness.

• Laura says that life in the United States involves complicated relationships with food. For example, we sometimes feel forbiddenness around food and there are many rules around the way we eat.

• Food is emotion and connection and we should embrace that.

• From the very first time we were breastfed there was a connection and comfort in food.

• Laura talks about cravings first in our relationship with food. She likes to use the acronym HALT, which makes the person ask themselves if they are hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. A craving is a way not to feel, we reach for facebook or cookies or alcohol to numb when it is too painful to be in our bodies.

• What we want to do is let the energy come through you and don’t engage with the energy and ask, “what do you need, and what can I do for you?”

• Ask if your habits are cushioning you or numbing you?

• Laura says how the language around food is fear inducing which is misleading.

• When we become afraid of a food, there is energy around it and we think it is a bad food and when we eat it we become bad.

• Everyone gets to define what health means to them and our physical health could be there, but our mental health could be bad.

• Laura speaks of an eating disorder called orthorexia which is eating “perfect”. Restricting causes us to swing into unhealthy habits and that swing is caused by shame and failure.

• People equate their worth with what they put into their mouth, and that is so pervasive.

• Dialing into one’s body while they eat it is important to know if it works for their body.

• Laura calls herself a Health Handholder, someone to hold the big picture and to take care of the little details.

•The emotional piece around food drives everything and our relationship to our health is about the relationship we have to ourselves.

• Laura tries to reacquaint her clients with things that give them pleasure like food, nature, a podcast and grow those moments that bring us pleasure and value and creating value takes time.

• Relationships, spirituality, and nourishment all take time.

• Laura shares how the external expectations influence us being in our bodies and the idea of an image is external and has been learned. As time goes on, we learn to stand outside of our body and judge it.

• The truth is, you cannot tell by the size of someone’s body if they are depressed, happy, if they have cancer.

• Her goal is to give her clients accurate and nourishing food information.

• Dieting has an idea of restriction, and the body wants homeostasis. Diets don’t work.

• Laura brings up the book No Weigh, written by Signe Darpinian who writes about a theory that if foods were in equal availability, each item would be chosen equally.

• Allow yourself to enjoy these things in moderation and if one has a better relationship with our food and how it feels, the energy in a Reese’s or a Coke for example will not feel good to us.

• Laura’s goal is to help her clients choose foods that create stability in energy, mood, sleep quality, brain performance.

• If you have stability in your body, no matter what comes your way, you will be more resilient Your weaknesses become more mild when you have stability in your body.

• Laura says for one, people have to be in a fair amount of discomfort or pain to want to change their.

• Laura says there are some easy changes one can implement day to day that will make an impact in how people feel.

• One of them is balancing blood sugar and that means having enough fat, protein, and plants in each meal.

• Laura is all about not making drastic changes, it is more about making small changes each day to evolve one’s eating. NO QUICK FIX.

• This mantra is so effective because it doesn’t tell people what they “can’t have”. It’s almost like substituting instead of engaging in rule restricting.

• Colleen views food and cooking as a way to connect with people. She loves cooking with her children and uses food as a way of connecting.

• Food/eating has a role or place in different religions, cultures, practices. It is entrenched in each and affects what and how people eat and the idea of restriction in a community can be for a higher purpose (e.g. religion).

• Laura says cells like a break from constant feeding, that’s where intermittent fasting comes from.

• Laura does year-long workshops, works one-on-one with people in Walnut Creek, does periodic online programs, and also has a virtual health book club where people gather to talk about spirituality and nutrition.

• Typically, she works with women and teenage- or college-age girls.

• Laura also deals with systemic issues: allergies or immune issues.

• When Laura works with people, she has them (1) keep a diet journal, (2) do a symptom reporting assessment, and (3) complete a health history narrative.

• Symptom Reporting Assessment for patients to report symptoms as this allows Laura to see where symptoms are clustered in the body.

• Health History is basically a narrative that includes the client’s goals, what their relationship with food is, how often they take antibiotics, and other dietary information.

• Laura takes all of this information to create a personalized plan for each patient instead of taking an approach that focuses on eliminating things from someone’s diet.

• Habits don’t change unless your beliefs and your relationship with yourself shift.

• Laura studied nutrition at Bowman College.

• Laura relates this back to her year-long program called “a year of living mindfully” because it teaches them to be pay attention to themselves.

• It teaches us how to maintain a healthy relationship with yourself and pay attention to your body It has a collective starting point in February and goes for 11 months with a cohort of people.

Related Links www.laurahalpin.com

Recommended book: No Weigh!!!

A Teen’s Guide to Positive Body Image, Food, and Emotional Wisdom.

By Signe Darpinian, Wendy Sterling, Shelley Accarwal

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This podcast will take you on a journey of self healing and discovery

Julee had a baby named Jackie that passed away from SIDS.

Julee did not have good coping skills. Sex drugs and rock and roll was how she coped.

Things changed when she listened to her intuition when it told her to paint. She gabbed paint and a brush and began to paint.

It made her become present and really still for the first time in 4 years. The paper was receiving my grief.

Julee got to the point where she wants to share this with others to help them heal.

Chris Zydel taught Julee this intuitive painting process.

Welcome To Creative Juices Arts

The God knock told her that this was her thing! Julee feels like she is meant to serve her community.

She opened a business called Canvas and Cabernet and she felt like everything she had learned in her life previously prepared her for this moment. It as a huge success. Her tag line for the business is It is cheaper than therapy!

Julee has became a philanthropic heart.

ARM-Art Recreation and Movement. Amy works with girls that have been trafficked.

https://armofcare.org

STAND-Works with people that are coming out of domestic violence.

http://www.standffov.org

These two organizations helped me get a rooting into the concept locally.

People like to express themselves with a medium other than language. People need to learn how to sooth themselves.

Getting to a place of being present forces you to heal. But you also have to FEEL. You can’t heal when you can’t feel.

A funny little saying is “the issues are in the tissues“.

Being quiet allows you to scan your body and see where the pain is residing. Half the battle is just being CURIOUS. It allows you to investigate. Once you recoginze pain in your body, it releases. Bringing awareness is half the battle.

Drop into meditation. Then do a body scan. Stop in places where you hold tension. The second chakra is where your creativity and intuition lie. The second mind. People hold a lot of tension in their hips. It is a powerhouse.

Once you recognize where grief and intuition lie in the body, check in and see if it has a color, a fragrance, an image? It makes it tangible. Whatever shape it is for them, I have them carry it out of their body. TRANSFORM IT. Transform the energy into a positive. What would it look like? This is called embodiment.

Trauma lives in the body. Julee helps them to connect to it and keep in that space and create art, you move the energy up and out. Julee helps people with this practice and what comes out of it is empowerment.

Emotions can be crippling. It doesn’t have to be. Julee gives people the tools.

Exquisite self care. Taking yourself to the next level. Invest in yourself. This is vital. Raise your vibration up. Our society teaches us to be concerned about the external, not internal. Everything starts within.

Julee is working with women that are experiencing burn out. Reclaiming studios is her new venture. One for one model. She is helping women. She is helping women that have lost themselves in being a wife, mother and professional.

If you are not local, you can attend one of Julee’s retreats. This combines this work with yoga and good food. You can do on-line group coaching as well.

For The Love of Cups is an organization that Julee is helping to empower and helping with fundraising. This helps women that are in the throws of cancer and gives them support.

https://www.fortheloveofcups.org

Parting words. Meditate, body scan, journal and paint. If you don’t paint you can use cooking, writing, sports. Anyone can use whatever you have around. Magic markers, pens. Use your intuition pick the colors and trust it as it will take you on a cool journey.

Help the audience tap into their creativity. Intentionality and intuition. It is a deep dive. It is about being curious. It doesn’t come from our intellect. First quiet your mind, if you sense judgment it is not your intuition. It is the noticing, the listening, the observer part of your being. You have to dive deep.

It will be nurturing and will come to your mind, you may tingle. Your intuition will be stronger. You must build a relationship with your intuition. It is imperative that you be quiet through the painting process.

Oracle cards, oils, candles help create a space that is different than your everyday space. Do you use state changers like music to help get you into the space? Your state can change with different typos of music.

Let’s circle back to the one to one model of business. She is very sensitive to foster care children. A lot of them end up in juvenile detention. Julee helps them with self soothing through painting through an organization that helps these young adults. She is preventing kids from indulging in bad behaviors like drugs, alcohol, cutting, etc.

The book is called The Body Keeps the Score by van der Kolk M.D. The best book around trauma.

https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma

Our brains have a way of turning certain parts of our brain off for survival. And Julee’s work is helping to turn it back on. If you don’t turn this back on, it will control you the rest of your life. Julee is using some of the money from reclaiming studios to fund her work with foster kids. She wants to train people also to help these kids. It takes resources. Great leaders make great leaders.

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